I have always thought of myself as a person who enjoys routine. I like structure and organization, and without those things in my life, I'd be more of a mess than I already am. Yet, with my overactive imagination and incessant tendency to worry more than necessary, a routine only offers a familiar pattern that is easily and frequently interrupted, breeding a constant state of chaos.
So I found myself wondering today as everything seemed too comfortable, something must be about to change or go awry. Enter the Lord.
As I sat outside enjoying the semi-warm weather while I took a break from some frustrating homework, I considered that despite the average stress of school and work, I was content. Everything seemed to be going the way it should, both in my personal and professional life. And I knew that it was likely not going to last long past my moment of realization, whether I wanted it to or not. Which I think, deep down, I didn't want it to last.
I appear to feed off of the ups and downs, because I know that an equilibrium will breed discontent, as though I'm not really moving forward in life. The extremes are what make my life a reality, though my dreams are also filled with oddities.
So the Lord bestowed upon me, or I myself became informed through the ultimate plan of his own, a hiccup or bump if you will. At first I was surprised and in a state of disbelief. But as I came to fully comprehend the situation and the stress and anxiety rose, I couldn't help but look up and laugh.
Despite the fact that most would look at my situation as a negative one, I have come to understand that everything happens for a reason. God made this part of his plan. He knew who, what, when, where, why and how it would occur. He knew what my reaction would be. He knew I would first be shocked, but as he has taught me through various other experiences, there is a lesson to be learned here and that he will never give me something I cannot handle (1 Corinthians 10:3). He has taught me to have faith that everything will work out according to his purpose. What a wonderful God.
This is a post of admiration and praise to thank him for how much he cares for me, though I don't deserve it. I am thankful for the lessons I've learned that have strengthened my faith and for the unconditional love he has for me. I am truly blessed :)
