A Lesson Learned

Oh how God has a sense of humor.

I have always thought of myself as a person who enjoys routine. I like structure and organization, and without those things in my life, I'd be more of a mess than I already am. Yet, with my overactive imagination and incessant tendency to worry more than necessary, a routine only offers a familiar pattern that is easily and frequently interrupted, breeding a constant state of chaos.

So I found myself wondering today as everything seemed too comfortable, something must be about to change or go awry. Enter the Lord.

As I sat outside enjoying the semi-warm weather while I took a break from some frustrating homework, I considered that despite the average stress of school and work, I was content. Everything seemed to be going the way it should, both in my personal and professional life. And I knew that it was likely not going to last long past my moment of realization, whether I wanted it to or not. Which I think, deep down, I didn't want it to last.

I appear to feed off of the ups and downs, because I know that an equilibrium will breed discontent, as though I'm not really moving forward in life. The extremes are what make my life a reality, though my dreams are also filled with oddities.

So the Lord bestowed upon me, or I myself became informed through the ultimate plan of his own, a hiccup or bump if you will. At first I was surprised and in a state of disbelief. But as I came to fully comprehend the situation and the stress and anxiety rose, I couldn't help but look up and laugh.

Despite the fact that most would look at my situation as a negative one, I have come to understand that everything happens for a reason. God made this part of his plan. He knew who, what, when, where, why and how it would occur. He knew what my reaction would be. He knew I would first be shocked, but as he has taught me through various other experiences, there is a lesson to be learned here and that he will never give me something I cannot handle (1 Corinthians 10:3). He has taught me to have faith that everything will work out according to his purpose. What a wonderful God.

This is a post of admiration and praise to thank him for how much he cares for me, though I don't deserve it. I am thankful for the lessons I've learned that have strengthened my faith and for the unconditional love he has for me. I am truly blessed :)

Half Marathon Training

So I've been running for some time now. I love it, can't get enough. Despite my injuries, joint pain, exhaustion and frustration along the way, it feeds my need to force some discipline into my life. Due to a plethora of motivations I have decided to train for a half marathon which I'll be running June 5th. Monday began my 14 week journey embarking on checking off one more accomplishment on my bucket list.

Today is day three, and I'm feeling pretty good and optimistic. It is daunting to imagine that there will come a day when I'll be running over four miles a day, which is the longest distance I've run at one time up to this point. Though I'm looking forward to being able to say I've completed this feat.

On a side note, I have a bit of cognitive dissonance in relation to completing this task because of a bad habit I have developed: smoking :( I know it's bad for my health, causes lung cancer, makes me smell, darkens my pearly whites, and makes my psoriasis flare up. Yet, this compulsion overrides me, despite my awareness of it's horrid effects.

My goal, is to quit, forever. Smoking and running don't mesh well. So here is to my positive thoughts and discipline with running, spilling over into my other habits. Wish me luck :)