Tis the season

With Christmas fast upon us, I am trying to remember just how important it is to honor it's true purpose: The birth of our Lord!

Though our celebration this year may not be as festive, it is no reason to be less joyous and thankful for how God has blessed me since I rededicated my life to him a year and a half ago.

He is my everything and I want to please him in this life I have here on earth.

I am filled with appreciation for his grace and mercy in my life. I am so thankful for my friends, my family, my jobs, my education, and just my life in general. He has blessed me in so many ways that I do not deserve and I don't take enough time out of my day to dedicate to praising him for his infinite glory and wisdom.

In leu of this, I am finally getting a tattoo as a physical reminder of how in control of my life God is and how I don't have to worry because he always right beside me. I have always believed that EVERYTHING HAPPENS FOR A REASON. It has become evident over the past few years how no matter how small and insignificant something may seem, God is watching and waiting. He is teaching me things and I am growing in my faith. I have decided to get the verse Romans 8:28 tattooed on my right foot as a daily reminder of how no matter how bad or good something is, it is all part of our marvelous creator's plan. And for that, I am ever thankful.

Moving

I am clearly slacking in my blog posting abilities. However, I believe I have a valid excuse. I have been busy moving my stuff home for Christmas break, working, and spending time with my family and friends. I've been enjoying this time of rest and relaxation after a brutally stressful semester. I also ended up getting sick :( This has put an unfortunate damper on my mood.

Today, in my relatively ill state, I managed to purchase almost everyone's Christmas presents and go house hunting with my step-dad. House hunting is fun, but I really don't want to move. Though I will be moving out anyways, I still love my parents' house and am not looking forward to the stress of packing up our entire life that has taken place here. There are so many wonderful things about our home that I am going to miss.

1. We live on 11 acres. Plenty of room for our dog to run around, to ride the four-wheeler, to rake leaf piles, and to build snow forts.

2. We have an abundance of space, despite the plethora of things we have. Wherever we end up moving, I will likely be sharing a room instead of enjoying the ample 12x12 dungeon that is my room now.

3. I am going to miss the memories. I have lived here since I was ten-years-old or so and I have changed so much since then. My whole life has happened here. I will miss staying up on Christmas eve "waiting for Santa." I will miss laying out in the sun in our pool for hours in the summer.

However, I know that change can be a marvelous thing. I know that moving will be a great experience for my younger siblings to have the chance to live in an area closer to their friends instead of in the middle of nowhere. I will just have to be patient and see.

Everything changes

I have an unfortunate tendency to get my hopes about things, and then end up upset because things to not turn out the way I desired. When I find myself happy, sad, frustrated, etc. I tend to write, as per usual, but I write poems because I find more clarity this way. As I found my hopes rising, I crafted the following. But this feeling was fleeting and I am back at square one.

Is it curious that I can’t get you off my mind

Think about you almost all the time

I hear your laugh

I see you smile

Haven’t felt this way in a while

I was happy long ago

More than I thought I’d ever know

Everything was shiny, new, and bright

Then like a thief in the night

It all fell apart

I felt all alone in the dark

Never again to see the spark

Gave it all my strength to move forward

Find something better to travel toward

But nothing seemed to give

No prayers showed a purpose for me to live

But everything happens for a reason

And for each time there is a season

God has a funny way of making things work

Enter you, and no more hurt

The peace in your eyes

The assurance in your step

Filled with no single regret

Sweeps me up with a spirit of hope

Still I tread a slippery slope

Fear moving too quick

Sharing my life is no magic trick

All out in the open

I’m already fragile and broken

One more hit

And surely I’ll slip

Fumble and trip

But isn’t love supposed to be worth the risk?

So I’ll dream and wish

For just one kiss

To show me it could be real

Give you a chance to feel

The warmth seep back into your heart

At least it would be a start

And if you’re true

I can promise you

I’ll give it my all

Try my best not to let you fall

Always answer when you call

Commit to giving you all my care

All the love that I can bare

All I ask for in return

Is that no matter what you learn

Or which way our paths turn

You’ll still care

Just enough to be there

Never enough laughter

I find it terribly amusing how easily people my age can be entertained and distracted. Once again I am spending my time perusing websites dedicated to Shadenfreude and the epic failures of the less gifted in society. If you have not found your way onto any of the following sites, please prepare yourself to waste countless hours in laughter and amusement, and be slightly offended. These are just a few of my favorites:

failblog.org

textsfromlastnight.com

damnyouautocorrect.com

StumbleUpon.com

Enjoy :)

We all need a little laughter

I am a firm believer that laughter is the best medicine. It is such a beautiful, infectious expression of joy that I'm smiling just thinking about it. A cheesy joke, a shared experience, or a perfectly prosed punch line can evoke a bellyful of amusement in the best of us.

Another beauty of laughter is that our sense of humor can change and grow and is never the same as another. With that being said, I hope not to offend anyone with the following.

I am the owner of an iPhone 3Gs and am decently pleased with it's performance, all except for one thing: auto correct. For those who don't know, auto correct is the programmed dictionary function in the messaging, emailing, and other writing applications on the phone which "fixes" words when you spell them wrong. But sometimes we spell things wrong intentionally or sometimes the auto correct simply has a mind of it's own.

So when I stumbled upon Damn you, AutoCorrect, I found myself filled with uncontrollable chuckles at the similar situations I've found myself in. Such a simple concept, but with an ever expanding audience as more and more victims of auto correction suffer, it is sure to bring at least a giggle to the most accurate speller.

I also appreciate that as a part of a distinct group of auto correction suckers, we can all share in this humor as it provides a connection that others do not share.

If you know what makes you laugh, don't hesitate to share it. A little laughter never hurt anybody :)

Good Morning T.I.P.

Normally I'd spend my Sunday morning relaxing and going to church to fellowship with my peers. However, due to exams starting at 8 a.m. tomorrow, I'm sitting in bed studying "How science is done." That is literally what my Introduction to Chemistry study guide says. Though this lunacy is not on which I'd like to focus this post, as I am procrastinating studying at the moment.

What I would like to focus on is the content of this morning's Sucker Free Countdown on MTV. What I love about Sucker Free is that it is MTV at it's finest; it's music videos, and not much more, instead of reality tv trash which fills it's airwaves more often than not.

This morning, a majority of the matter has been work by T.I. and B.oB., both artists who I greatly enjoy. Both gentleman, though very different styles, have relatively paramount presence amongst their peers, and radiate an essence of greatness, despite their circumstances. Rap and R&B music, though sometimes beyond provocative, can have such a positive and motivational message that is universally relatable.

I also appreciate artists' abilities to collaborate peacefully and make even stronger music.

This is music; I can enjoy it and I can respect it. This is not music. This is a ploy for attention, and a bad one at that.

Fresh ta death, good music will stand the test of time, no matter what genre. We just have to let it speak for itself.

You can get with this, or...

Being able to lease my very own car for the first time has been such a rewarding experience. Though up until I was almost 20 years old I had the privilege of driving cars owned by my parents, I always wanted a car to call my own.

Don't get me wrong, I still paid for gas, insurance, ocasional repairs, etc. But those cars weren't MINE. Now that my name is on the paperwork, I feel so liberated. I work hard to be able to afford my car, and it's worth every minute.

My Corsa Blue 2010 Kia Forte Koup is a fine piece of machinery. Now granted my dream car would be a Black '69 Camaro SS or Phantom Rolls-Royce, I'm still pretty pleased that at my age I can be the owner of a sporty and affordable car.

The following is just a snap-shot of what my baby can do.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=U8NdBE_H-Lw&feature=related

And if that isn't enough. Around the time I was looking into purchasing/leasing a car, this amusing little ditty found it's way onto the television. Though it isn't for my car particularly, it is an amusing marketing technique and the song is now my ringtone of course.

For more on the 2010 Kia Forte, visit Kia.com.

What is the limit?

Some people may call me a goody-two-shoes for never having dabbled in illegal substances, but I really don't care. When it comes to academics, I bust my ass to get the grades I do. Though some subjects come easier to me than others, I have no desire to attempt to "get ahead" by abusing prescription drugs.

I find it amusing, and yet disheartening, that so many of my peers feel so despearte that they need to take drugs, that have similar effects of cocaine, to stay awake for countless hours to cram for exams. Drugs like Adderall don't get you better grades. They merely force you to focus on studying for an extended amount of time. Heaven forbid we just sit in the library free of distractions with our notes in hand and use some old fashioned will power to study. That is just preposterous.

It upsets me because I know the power of these drugs when used properly. My sister is diagnosed with A.D.H.D. and takes the medication to help her stay on task in class. Those undiagnosed and not suffering with the condition are using these drugs without knowing the dangers they pose.

College students seem to think they're invincible and won't encounter any negative effects and it frightens me that they don't take their lives seriously. Granted there are plenty of legal substances that can have adverse effects, I feel like their dangers are more widely known. Students abusing Adderall could be popping a placebo and not even know it because of their lack of knowledge.

I guess the purpose of this rant is to encourage my peers to think twice before consuming illegal substances and to really consider how talented they are before resorting to such extremes. It is NOT meant as a form of judgement. My attitude is that "to each his own." But I value my life, and the lives of the ones I love and would prefer they do their best to live in a healthy manner.

Check out this NY Times article to read more about Adderall abuse in college students.

Nightmares

For some time now I have been fascinated by the illusions that fill my mind as I sleep. I have an imagination more vivid than most and the inner workings of my brain seem to draw out the most peculiar images and stories as I rest. As intense and clear as these dreams are, I find myself awakening feeling as if they are more akin to memories, than mere figments of fantasy.

With that being said, I have unfortunately come under a spell of nightmares. For roughly the past two months I have suffered from a plague of dreams that evoke a horrible sense of terror.

I find it rather unfortunate, as I usually find my dreams intriguing and seek to dissect their origination and purpose. I even wrote a term paper on the psychology behind dreams and their interpretations. I know dreams have been around since God created the earth and I find them such a beautiful phenomena to be marvel at. Discovering the root and provocation of my dreams typically leads to me gaining better understanding, and sometimes control, of them. However, I cannot seem to unlock the mystery of this string of unfortunate visions.

The general consensus from ongoing discussion from others has been relating the crux of this terror to be related to one of two things: stress or security.

When it comes to stress, I feel like I'm invincible. I have encountered so much stress throughout my life, and I'm certain there is much more to come. Though I deal with in many ways, I'm not sure how it could creep it's way into my dreams. I typically crawl into bed at night, either too exhausted to worry about the next day, or drifting into unconsciousness as I say my prayers. Both of which I do not think would yield the horror that I come upon in my bad dreams.

Security seems like a more logical reason, though dreams are never really logical now are they? It may be that since I sleep all alone in my bed (I have three roommates, but none of which are staying the night right next to me, haha) that I feel more susceptible to danger. I'd like to think that I can handle my own, and I've spent most of my life filled with anxiety which has provided an arsenal of adrenaline ready to burn through my veins when my fight or flight sensors kick in. Needless to say, consciously, I'm not worried about my safety when I go to bed at night.

At this point, I'm less captivated and more bothered because it's affecting my sleep. With exams and the semester ending, I really can't afford to be exhausted and waking up during the little sleep I get in a state of panic.

I'm curious to know how others cope with such frustration and if there are any realistic ways to go about finding a remedy for these buggers before I can't sleep at all.