Welcome to the Future

Today I am embarking on something very important, an experience that could have a vast impact on my future. I am going on a second interview for a co-op position in public affairs that could open up a world of opportunities for me.

I'm anxious, excited, and hopeful that this interview will go well and that my talents can be well utilized at this organization. I know that it could be a valuable experience that will open up many doors and build on the skills I have acquired through my education and professional experience thus far.

I have to express my deepest and sincerest thanks to everyone in my life who has helped shape me in to who I am today. Without them, I wouldn't be here in this moment, right where I belong. I am so appreciative of all of the support I receive from my family, friends, boyfriend, advisors, teachers, mentors, colleagues and most of all from my Savior!

I know that everything happens for a reason, and what is meant to be, will be. So I'll put my trust in God and follow where he leads and remain faithful that today will go exactly as he planned.

Praise!

A Lesson Learned

Oh how God has a sense of humor.

I have always thought of myself as a person who enjoys routine. I like structure and organization, and without those things in my life, I'd be more of a mess than I already am. Yet, with my overactive imagination and incessant tendency to worry more than necessary, a routine only offers a familiar pattern that is easily and frequently interrupted, breeding a constant state of chaos.

So I found myself wondering today as everything seemed too comfortable, something must be about to change or go awry. Enter the Lord.

As I sat outside enjoying the semi-warm weather while I took a break from some frustrating homework, I considered that despite the average stress of school and work, I was content. Everything seemed to be going the way it should, both in my personal and professional life. And I knew that it was likely not going to last long past my moment of realization, whether I wanted it to or not. Which I think, deep down, I didn't want it to last.

I appear to feed off of the ups and downs, because I know that an equilibrium will breed discontent, as though I'm not really moving forward in life. The extremes are what make my life a reality, though my dreams are also filled with oddities.

So the Lord bestowed upon me, or I myself became informed through the ultimate plan of his own, a hiccup or bump if you will. At first I was surprised and in a state of disbelief. But as I came to fully comprehend the situation and the stress and anxiety rose, I couldn't help but look up and laugh.

Despite the fact that most would look at my situation as a negative one, I have come to understand that everything happens for a reason. God made this part of his plan. He knew who, what, when, where, why and how it would occur. He knew what my reaction would be. He knew I would first be shocked, but as he has taught me through various other experiences, there is a lesson to be learned here and that he will never give me something I cannot handle (1 Corinthians 10:3). He has taught me to have faith that everything will work out according to his purpose. What a wonderful God.

This is a post of admiration and praise to thank him for how much he cares for me, though I don't deserve it. I am thankful for the lessons I've learned that have strengthened my faith and for the unconditional love he has for me. I am truly blessed :)

Half Marathon Training

So I've been running for some time now. I love it, can't get enough. Despite my injuries, joint pain, exhaustion and frustration along the way, it feeds my need to force some discipline into my life. Due to a plethora of motivations I have decided to train for a half marathon which I'll be running June 5th. Monday began my 14 week journey embarking on checking off one more accomplishment on my bucket list.

Today is day three, and I'm feeling pretty good and optimistic. It is daunting to imagine that there will come a day when I'll be running over four miles a day, which is the longest distance I've run at one time up to this point. Though I'm looking forward to being able to say I've completed this feat.

On a side note, I have a bit of cognitive dissonance in relation to completing this task because of a bad habit I have developed: smoking :( I know it's bad for my health, causes lung cancer, makes me smell, darkens my pearly whites, and makes my psoriasis flare up. Yet, this compulsion overrides me, despite my awareness of it's horrid effects.

My goal, is to quit, forever. Smoking and running don't mesh well. So here is to my positive thoughts and discipline with running, spilling over into my other habits. Wish me luck :)

Breathe, smile, visualize, evaluate, fight.

I don't know what to do

Now that I have met you

Maybe chance, or maybe fate

But it's only been one date

Infatuation and excitement

May soon end in disappointment

Being the object of your affection

But where this will lead us

I'm not sure the direction

You make me laugh

I make you smile

This may break after a while

My true colors will surely show

Things about me you did not know

Unfavorable things about myself

Things I hide upon a shelf

Things that I have accepted

But not everybody else

And how they're affected

This frustration I've collected

Built up over time

And just as I suspected

It wasn't far that we would climb

Just far enough to make me scared

I knew deep down

There would be deception

Not all know how to react

Breeding fear of rejection

Just like that

I can't bare that again

Getting so close

Losing my breath

With each and every dose

Of the heroin you are to me

A drug and a disease

I can't leave, I'm addicted

To the pain

That you've inflicted

The highs and lows

The violent extremes

Losing you would bring an awful scream

But wait a minute

I'm over-thinking

The boat hasn't left the dock

And we're already sinking

Doomed for failure

This isn't flattering

But neither of us were looking for a fling

Relationships go deep

Beyond the surface

So if my heart you'd like to keep

Take a breath and repeat

Is it appropriate to throw up on annoying students in front of me during lecture to voice my complaint?

There is something particularly unfortunate about sitting in a class when you're sleep deprived and nauseous. I mean, it could be worse, I could be at work... oh wait, I will be at work tonight until 8 p.m. before trekking two hours home.

Sitting in this class should warrant I pay attention to the lecturer, and study for my quiz in the class from hell at noon. Yet, procrastination, as per usual, is far more enticing.

On that note, I'm beginning to find evidence that my institution of education is rather ridiculous. Quite frankly, it's embarrassing. My university has a party reputation, which is fine - but the academic deficiency is depressing. Who allows some of these students into these classes, let a lone college in general? I think several of them are barely lucid enough to function in society. Why would you come to class drunk and interrupt my learning? I'm paying over $900 for this class. I think I should be allowed some control over the outcome of this endeavor and therefore be allowed to BOUNCE YOUR ASS out of class.

In addition, some of the educators are lacking in their ability to profess knowledge in any way. Granted, I have been blessed with some great, and very enthusiastic and inspirational professors thus far, many of my teachers have been lackluster. It's comical to me that I can take an online course that requires the reading of ten short stories and viewing their film versions, and never flip a page and still maintain an A in the course. Or to attend a lecture, and be writing a blog and checking my facebook and still manage a 92%. I'm not a genius here folks. Though I do maintain superior organizational and multitasking skills, this isn't rocket science.

I suppose every institution has its pros and cons, it just appears that mine has some cons that feel slightly heavier than the pros. This rant has originated from my frustration with the delinquents seated in front of me who enjoy rambling in a hung over state about nonsense, distracting my subconscious from absorbing the general gist of the lecture. There blatant disregard for my learning and apathy for their own is frustrating.

Yes, I'm bored. Yes, I already know pretty much what we are talking about. Yes, I'm not really "on task." But I'm not bothering or hindering anyone else's learning process. Their violation of basic social norms and borderline mentally impaired actions only surface on Fridays for some odd reason. Fridays, the day that nobody wants to be here anyway. Why can't we all just coast through class and get on with our business in a peaceful manner?

Did I mention I can't wait to graduate?

Chrysler Wins the Super Bowl

Wow. Just wow. I can't even begin to explain the respect and admiration I have for the genius behind Chrysler's new marketing campaign. I mean, by far, at the 2011 NAIAS, they were the first and best press conference showcasing their goals for the next year.

And what another smart move by waiting to promote their beauty and class until the Super Bowl.

Not only do they make Detroit proud, and anyone from Michigan, but they use a prominent [and not to mention attractive:)] artist to push their cause even further. What honesty and hard work is evident in their vehicles and in this promotion.

I'm speechless.

Check it out for yourself and let me know what you think.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SKL254Y_jtc

Wrong Era

I'll tell you what. Sometimes, I just don't understand why I wasn't born about five years earlier. Or in a different time period all together. I don't know if it was the way I was raised, or just an innate quality, but I've never had any fiery desire to be rebellious in any nature. On occasion I enjoy stirring the pot to stimulate my surroundings, but I don't usually feel any need to act outright against my moral standards.

I've come to realize that because of this rather mature perspective for my age, I struggle finding a place to be about my peers. So when my neighbors, who are nice and inviting folks, have the music bumpin' and yelling all loud, I can't help but be annoyed. (Though my annoyance has build upon the negative snowball of a day to begin with.)

I like my music loud too, but I try to not irritate everyone in the process. Go ahead and dougie your way through a G6, but do it a little lower so it doesn't shake the paint off the walls please :)

I'm certain that there aren't many others out there at my age with a like-mind. Those who aren't conservative, but do like to go to bed at 9pm on some Fridays because they've been up since 7am and working non-stop all day long. Those who don't mind being on their grind because they know they are going far in life. Those who rock their discipline and brush the dirt off their shoulder. It'd be nice to meet 'em, to have someone to fall back on who gets it every once in a while.

But until then, I'm gonna be thankful. I've got two legs, two arms, two eyes, ears, and a mouth. To top it off, I've got lungs that breathe and a heart that beats and I don't even deserve that much. Big ups to the Father for blessing me with my life. Though I struggle finding where I belong in this world, I know right where I belong in his :)